Why don't Americans eat snails

19 jokes about snails







Says a snail to another snail: "You slimy!"


137Slime jokes


Heinz is sent off by his wife to buy snails, which he does well. On the way back he goes to the pub for a short beer. The short one turns into a long beer and when he stands in front of the front door after five hours, he gets scared of his wife.

So he sets up the snails in rows of two in front of the door and rings the doorbell.

When his wife opens: "So hopp hopp, just a few more steps and we're home".


101Beer jokes


The worried snail father to his children: "That you don't run across the street for me. The bus will come in three hours!" ~ jana


78Bus jokes


A snail crawls up a cherry tree in winter. A bird comes by and asks: "What are you doing there?"

The snail: "I want to eat cherries."

"But there is nothing to it!" says the bird.

"When I'm up, yes," replies the snail.


94Bird jokes


A snail crawls as fast as it can when it encounters a bear.

Bear: "Hey snail, why are you crawling so fast?"

Snail: "The tax office is after me!"

Bear: "Why is that?"

Snail: "Father has a house, mother has a house, I have a house!"

Shit, thinks the bear and starts to run.

Then the bear meets an elephant ...

Elephant: "Hey Bear, why are you running like that?"

Bear: "The tax office is after me!"

Elephant: "Why is that?"

Bear: "Father has fur, mother has fur, I have fur!"

Shit thinks the elephant and starts to run.

The elephant hits a baboon ...

Baboon: "Hey elephant, why are you running like that?"

Elephant: "The tax office is after me!"

Baboon: "Why is that?"

Elephant: "Father lives big, mother lives big, I live big!"

Shit, thinks the baboon and starts running ...

After 100 meters he brakes hard.

"Wait a minute," says the baboon, "why am I running? The tax office can't be after me at all. Father has nothing on my ass, mother nothing on my ass and I have nothing on my ass!"


106Tax office jokes