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Urge for validity: Please pay attention to me!
People with an exaggerated Need for admiration can quickly get on the nerves of those around them. Everything must always revolve around them, they vie for everyone's attention and can become very exhausting if their urge for self-recognition is not satisfied. This is also due to the fact that hardly anyone knows how to properly deal with the constant urge for attention. In order to learn this, you have to understand better what exactly the urge for validity is all about, how it arises and how you can recognize it. With this understanding, you will not only be able to react to the urge for recognition - you will also recognize why the urge to be recognized pursues a goal and yet usually achieves the exact opposite ...
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What is the urge to be recognized anyway?
Everyone has a certain Need for recognition. Behind this is the desire to be recognized and respected by one's social scope - both for one's own achievements, but also simply as a person. This can already be observed in children who not only want to be observed by their parents, but also by friends and other caregivers, for example the supervisors in kindergarten or the teachers in school. Attention is linked to positive emotions, according to the motto: Look here, I'm particularly good or I've done something great.
Recognition by others is one Confirmation of your own behavior and your own personality. However, if the need for recognition exceeds a normal and healthy level, it becomes a need for recognition. Then it's just a matter of constantly being the center of attention, of receiving attention and recognition from all sides, and of striving to be the center of attention.
Also the Cause of an urge to be recognized can be easily identified: it is an overcompensation for feelings of inferiority that can arise due to insufficient self-esteem.
By doing Provokes attention and attention those affected feel particularly at ease with a thirst for recognition. It gives you the good feeling of being valued and respected by others - although of course they forget and ignore that it is not natural and positive recognition.
Typical signs of an excessive urge for recognition
An urge for validity shows through various signsthat can hardly be overlooked for the environment - after all, this is exactly what it is all about if the greatest possible attention is to be achieved. However, there can be differences and the urge to be recognized shows up in different variants.
The most common symptom of an excessive urge for recognition are here Exaggerations. Everything always has to be the greatest, the best, the most extraordinary, the most terrible or the most incredible. Achievements and successes are always presented as outstanding and incomparable. The exaggerated representations are intended to ensure that no one can overlook or ignore it.
Also quite direct lies - quasi the next level of strong exaggerations - are not uncommon with a thirst for recognition. When nothing else helps to get the center of attention, stories are simply invented and spread.
Another common symptom of a thirst for recognition is a very extravagant or luxurious lifestyle. Stand out and at any price, no matter how expensive it is. And through very expensive clothing, which is naturally presented and addressed, or through luxury cars, in order to really be noticed by everyone, the own urge for recognition should be satisfied.
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That is why the urge for validity usually achieves the exact opposite
The Aim in the urge to be recognized is to be valued by those around you. Those affected want respect and recognition and are ready to secure this for themselves by a wide variety of means. However, the urge for validity can never really achieve this goal - it always ensures the exact opposite.
Real Recognition simply cannot be forced and the greater a person's urge to be recognized, the more negative the actual impact on social contacts. The exaggerations are exhausting, seem artificial and are implausible, the constant begging for attention makes you unsympathetic and it simply gets on your nerves when someone cannot cope with the fact that the world is not just about them.
The urge for validity does not bring attention, but rather Disregard and rejection. In the end, however, those affected by the urge for validity do not care, because they only see the attention that is due to them without realizing that this is mostly exclusively negative.
This is how you react to an excessive urge for validity
Whether you want it or not: You will have to deal with the urge for recognition of someone around you. The pursuit of attention will not go unnoticed by you if, for example, one of your office neighbors shows a particularly strong urge to be recognized.
How you react to this is an important factor that can influence how stressful the urge to be recognized becomes on you. We have a few tips on how to deal with the urge to be recognized:
Go on the offensive
Does your colleague's urge for validity get out of hand, he tries to attract everyone's attention at every opportunity and both the working atmosphere and the results suffer as a result? Then it may be appropriate to go on the offensive and speak openly to them about their behavior. Explain how exhausting and annoying the urge to assert yourself is for you and everyone else and calmly demand that the colleague in question should improve in the near future.
Completely ignore the urge to be valued
The best strategy against the urge for validity is a simple tip: ignore the person concerned at every opportunity. Leave him alone and don't interfere with his attempts to get attention and attention. In practice, this is much more difficult than it sounds, since the urge to be recognized also takes drastic measures if the desired recognition does not materialize.
This can go so far that emotional outbursts are staged openly, both in the form of grief, but also through anger. However, if you can take it long enough and continue to ignore everything, a learning effect can arise and behavior changes - at least towards you.
They react best to the urge to be recognized together with others who also suffer from the behavior. Ask other colleagues whether they noticed the behavior negatively and talk to each other in order to put a stop to the urge to be recognized. In the best case, you will succeed in completely ignoring the behavior together and thus withdrawing any attention.
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