Why should I forgive
Forgive and Forgive - Is it Necessary?
Last update: 16 May, 2016
This person who has done you so much harm deserves to be forgiven? You have surely asked yourself this more than once. If the person is close to you, you may find yourself wondering whether or not it is worth forgiving.
Another doubt gnaws at us:HeyForgive for making up with this person?Perhaps we decided to forgive her so as not to hold grudges against her, because resentment is a poison that is absolutely not good for us. But that doesn't mean we have to keep the friendship, that everything will be the same as it used to be, or that we should stay married, visit the other person, etc.
When we're being betrayed, feeling betrayed, it's pretty hard to keep the relationship going like nothing happened.Let us imagine that our trust is like a crystal glass that falls on the floor and shatters into a thousand pieces. Can it ever be the same as before, even if we put all the pieces back together? No way.
It is necessary to remember that we must forgive ourselves before we can forgive someone for their mistakes.What does this mean? That when we forgive we free ourselves from the pain, the toxic emotions and the negative feelings that dwell within us.And that's a lot.
But it doesn't work "I forgive you" to say without even feeling it. When we say these words, which have great meaning and value, it has to be done consciously and honestly.
Forgiveness may or may not lead to reconciliation. It is not a “sine qua non” condition, that is, one can forgive and everyone goes their own way. The common path separates the moment we decide to forgive and let go at the same time.
That doesn't happen overnight, forgiveness is a process that takes a long time. We may think we have already forgiven someone for what they did to us. But every time we remember the argument, we feel a certain sadness, we cry, we feel anger and anger. That means we haven't forgiven too completely yet.
Miguel Ruiz describes in his book The four promises , that forgiveness is the only way to heal ourselves.You realize thatyou have forgiven someone when you see them (or think about them) and don't feel a negative emotional reaction.
Forgiveness could be compared to healing a wound we made while cutting an apple.While the wound is still healing, it will hurt us every time we touch it. But once the skin has regenerated, it leaves a patch of lighter skin or a scar, but touching it no longer causes pain. Regarding forgivenesswe will find that we have truly forgiven when the memory of the situationwhich hurt us at firstno longer causes problems.
Remember this lovely sentence about the consequences of not knowing how to forgive:
"Not forgiving is like picking up a glowing coal with the intention of throwing it to someone else: you burn yourself first."
Also the idea thatforgiveness is a way to heal ourselvesand averting further pain from us speaks for forgiving and forgiving.
How, when and why should one forgive? It all depends on each individual, on our individual experience.There is no rule or magic recipe that tells us, for example, "If your partner cheats on you, wait two weeks until you forgive."
You yourself will notice at what moment you forgave or whether you still have to work on reaching this goal. Andin some cases it is actually time that the wounds heal.There is no doubt that time is sometimes the best cure for healing heart injuries.
Whether we forgive or not is a personal choice. But that decision will affect our lives, be it now or in the future.
It is true that some betrayals are harder to forgive than others. But we should also remember thatwe're not perfect and everyone makes a mistake.We are not justifying the person who cheated on us, we are just a little less strict with this person, who is probably also uncomfortable with their actions.
Finally, we should remember thatForgiveness is not something that benefits the other, but rather ourselves. Those who forgive liberate themselves of a heavy and dangerous burden that harms our hearts.
Practice forgiving and you will feel relieved!
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