A covert narcissist can sometimes be co-dependent

Everything You Should Know About Being a Undercover Narcissist

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They can be fooled by a covert narcissist, but they are just as narcissistic as the sterotypical extroverted narcissists. Some narcissists like to emphasize one personality trait over others. One person with an open-minded personality can always show off and must be the center of attention, while another narcissist might be a vengeful bully, a legitimate playboy, a bossy authoritarian, or a discerning know-it-all. As Madonna put it: "Listen, everyone has a right to my opinion."

Some public figures and celebrities are examples of extroverted narcissists - people who are grandiose and who demand attention. The radio presenter and psychologist Dr. Wendy Walsh said: "Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not only accepted in the entertainment industry, but is often a requirement. "(Los Angeles Times, April 11, 2017) The Diagnostic and Statistics Manual Criteria describes these types as" exhibitionist narcissists. "

The undercover narcissist

There are different subtypes of narcissists. Among them are undercover narcissists. Psychoanalyst James Masterson first identified the "Closet Narcissist" - someone who has been deprived of his breath with insufficient self-awareness. Without the aggressiveness of the exhibitionistic narcissist, they are more prone to depression and feelings of emptiness or similar things fall apart. This subtype has also been known as "covert narcissist", "vulnerable narcissist", or "introverted narcissist". Take one quiz to see if you are, but don't rely on it for good without speaking to a mental health provider.



On the surface, they can be difficult to identify. These narcissists can appear shy or timid. Their satisfaction can be indirect through their emotional investment in someone they admire. They take things personally and feel suspicious, abused, unappreciated, and misunderstood. Despite devaluing themselves, they dream of greatness and wonder why people do not appreciate and understand them.

You still qualify for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), feel particularly special and want admiration (perhaps secretly), lack empathy and feel justified. They are still self-centered and expect special treatment. They often feel that their specificity is not appreciated, that they are misunderstood, or that people or the world as a whole have not sufficiently recognized their uniqueness. Some play the role of a victim and a martyr.

They could be philanthropists, clergymen, or helping professions. Despite the fact that they appear to really care about others, they are motivated by a need for recognition, power over others, or selfish pride. You could help by taking over without asking for permission. They behave self-righteously, morally, or like an exploited, angry sufferer for all their giving.

In contrast to the exhibitionist narcissist

Despite sharing core traits, the covert narcissist is in some ways the mirror image of the exhibitionist narcissist. While the latter demands to be the center of attention, the former feels offended that it is not or gets attention by playing the victim. Instead of working the room, the covert narcissist is lost in himself. Ordinary introverts are generally good listeners, but not this narcissist. You think others are boring or ignorant. Instead of bossing others around, the covert narcissist can indirectly assert himself passive-aggressive Behavior. You may agree to things but not get through, be late, forget, or pretend there is no agreement. All narcissists are manipulative. Undercover narcissists can add self-pity to their toolkit to control others. Instead of directly knocking down others, they tend to express themselves out of envy.



Because of their introversion, rather than openly bragging rights, undercover narcissists display reluctant complacency and judge everyone as inferior. They can act distant and disinterested, or make dismissive or disparaging gestures such as looking away, sighing, yawning impolite, or acting bored. While all narcissists respond poorly to criticism, the introvert may have the thinnest skin of all because they believe they are uniquely sensitive. Instead of the aggressive and exploitative nature of the extroverted narcissist, hidden ones have feelings of neglect or degradation, oversensitivity, fear, and paranoia.

The covert narcissist in relationships

The danger is not to see through the facade of a covert narcissist because they are more passive. But they can be just as destructive to relationships as the extroverted types. The emotional abuse could be quieter and subtlebut can wear you down and demoralize you. Your needs and requests for attention will be discounted or ignored. You can be drawn into trying to comfort and help this manipulative martyr to no avail. There is no way to fill their emptiness or change their victim mentality. You feel angry and angry. In the meantime yours Self-esteem is gradually being undermined. The narcissist lacks empathy for you, they will not see you as a person in their own right, and they will do what is necessary to maintain power and control. Your pain and needs always come first, leaving you feeling lonely and neglected.

Extroverted narcissists also sometimes act undercover, sulk, and pretend to be the victim in order to manipulate. Don't get caught up in definitions. When your needs and feelings are discounted, when you are feeling or manipulated abused, see a therapist and learn how to deal with this behavior. To get Dealing with a narcissist.

© Darlene Lancer 2018