Why do people blackmail other people
Emotional Blackmail: Reasons, Features & Ways Out
Emotional blackmail is not uncommon in a relationship. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is - parents, partners, siblings, friends. Individuality is still very important, because the manipulation of emotional blackmail can take on different dimensions.
It should make you feel that you feel obliged to do something against your will in order to meet the expectations of your partner at all times.
What is Emotional Blackmail?
Emotional blackmail defines that one person tries to strategically manipulate another through feelings.If exactly what the blackmailer demands is not done, the blackmailed person will be burdened with strongly negative feelings.
"If you really loved me, you wouldn't do that."
"I would never have thought of you like that."
"I do so much for you and what are you doing?"
What's behind it? - to put it simply, it's oneemotional addictionwhich can move in two directions. For one thing, there isFear of loss and on the other hand, the desire is behind relentless love. The problem is lacking and flawed communication. Partners who use emotional blackmail are clear Not to able to formulate requirements clearly and directly.
In addition, they see themselves in the role of the victim. Advanced emotional blackmail can be defined by far-reaching consequences.
“If you don't support me in this, I don't know if we can still be together.„
The victim (even if he doesn't really want to) endures this for more Conflicts to avoid and not to hurt the partner. These Information asymmetry suggests the right to behave like this to the emotional blackmailer. This makes the victim feel like you owe the other person something.
These 7 clues will help you identify emotional blackmail
It is very important on this subject Allegations of facts to separate, so you should be on this 7 notes Be careful to see if your partner is emotionally blackmailing you.
You put your needs continuously in the background? This can subliminally lead to aggression. For example, if you get angry and pissed off at the mere presence of your partner, you have already spotted the first clue.
2. Avoidance of conflict
Not only are you always giving in to your partner's wishes, but you've come to a point where you give in from the start and avoid conflict. You know it always comes down to the same thing and what you would like is not even an issue.
3. Feelings of guilt
Do you feel guilty all the time? No wonder, because your partner is always trying to be his Will impose.
We humans often tend to compare ourselves to others and the feeling of not being good enough or of failing is constantly present. This lets your partner feel you through talking to others frequently compares and claims that person can or does anything better than you.
5. Permanent demands
Your partner demands - and always. No matter what you do, how you do it or why you do it. Your partner will always be and object to it Push through will. This also includes the permanent consideration as a requirement. "I work 12 hours a day, so the food could be on the table, but you don't pay attention to something like that anyway."
Due to the countless demands and expectations, you feel constantly under pressure. Your partner is pushing himself extremely to the fore and the constant Finger pointing stress you and your relationship.
7. High expectations
Expectations in the case of emotional blackmail are very important. Ultimately, you will be taught that you are to blame for everything and that you should adjust your expectations of the partner, because from the blackmailer's point of view, you are not prioritizing the way your partner wants you to.
7 ways - get out of the emotional blackmail
1. Set goals
Don't rush into anything, think more carefully how you want to proceed in order to avoid emotional blackmail. Cautiousness is the key word here, because the emotional dependency cannot be resolved overnight.
Analyze exactly when your partner starts to blackmail you emotionally. It happens on its own discontent? Are you the air valve and getting it all off? Does it happen in Stressful phases? Pay special attention to these things.
You now know what you are dealing with, but multiple sources of information are not enough. So you can now better assess the situation and react in an agile manner.
4. Communication behavior
You have been communicating with your partner for weeks or months. But you are not the problem, you are the blackmailer because he is unable to say what he wants. Bring him to speakby helping your partner in these situations calm down and respond to what he is currently demanding. Be defensive-active, you can break through the emotional dependency bit by bit.
5. Relieve pressure
It's going to be another heated discussion and your partner wants you to give in and do what they want - for the 100th time? Then defuse the situation by doing factualstayto do some little things to get back in on the situation Quietponder. This will enable you to get a decent answer afterwards and not give in.
Avoiding the partner from emotional blackmail does not happen overnight. It takes on Perseverance and patience to achieve the goal together. You both need to work on yourself and learn to communicate with each other and respond to the needs of both parties.
If you can't stand it anymore and your partner just doesn't want to see that you are suffering from them and just don't know what to do anymore, then the time has come to draw the conclusions. put a Relationship break a. If the emotional blackmail is so extreme that you can no longer take it, then you should consider it relationship to break up.
Reasons for Emotional Blackmail
Are you wondering why your partner started emotional blackmail in the first place? In any case, not because you are hated, but quite the opposite.Fear of loss, insecurity and frustration are the most common terms associated with emotional blackmail. The Information asymmetry can be described relatively easily:
The blackmailer has the feeling
- that you do not notice him,
- neglect him,
- don't spend time together
- you are indifferent to the wishes and needs
- and don't show any consideration either
The blackmailed has an extreme feeling for it
- the overstrain,
- overwhelming guilt,
- Restlessness and dissatisfaction
- In addition, there is the fear of losing the partner
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