What did you learn to ignore

29 things I've learned about life in 29 years.

This year I'll be 30 (!!!). That is a number, an age that is still so far away for me. At 30 you are grown up. You have finished your studies, found your calling and, at best, a good job. You may already be married or have children, you are busy with things like building a house and you cancel the building society loan contract that others have drawn up for you at a young age. At 30 you do different things than at your mid-twenties. At 30 you are shaped by so many experiences and have evolved into you over the years adult Character. At 30 you have a plan for life.

Not me. I have no plan.

Sure, I have a career plan; namely a good job in which I am encouraged and which fulfills me. I have a regular everyday life, a wonderful social environment, a nice apartment and a rough idea of ​​where I want to go. But I want more! Try more, experiment more, make more mistakes and learn from them. That brings us back to the topic: I have everything, just no plan.

What I have is an insatiable interest in the world. This childlike curiosity that does not run dry. This thirst for real Experiences that nestle in your heart and that will feed you for a lifetime. This strong desire to dance outside of my comfort zone as often as possible. There, where the stories are written that you tell your grandchildren with shining eyes in old age. The places where you get lost because you blindly follow your heart and pave your way through the unknown. Where you find yourself.

For today I wrote down 29 things for you that I would have liked to have known when I was in my early twenties. 29 lessons from 29 years that have helped me to be a little more myself and that I will take with me into my 30s.


#1 | Nothing lasts. Even a bad day only has 24 hours. And even with your small and large personal downfalls, the world continues to turn mercilessly. Sad, but also comforting. This thought robs a lot of scary things.

#2 | Mistakes you've made in the past cannot be ironed out. As much as you try to smooth things over, mend the scratches on your soul, or ignore the wounds ... It is what it is. The only thing you can do is learn from it and do it differently next time ... do it better. That's why I say: Make more mistakes! In a world where everyone wants to be perfect and free from mistakes, you dare to fail! Try ‘as much as possible, test your limits, exploit your potential to the full, face new challenges / new situations / new tasks and learn from your everyday experiments! Mistakes can hurt and wear you down. Don't let that happen! Accept them as lessons that will bring you lifefree gives away. Wladimir Klitschko once said in an interview that your personal defeats are much more important than your victories. On the one hand, because you learn so much more when you fail than when you always win. And on the other hand, you have to deal with yourself. You get to know yourself.

#3 | Forgiving others and, above all, yourself allows you to go through life more nimbly. Negative, vengeful thoughts only harm yourself. Buddha put it so nicely: "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." So leave that shit behind and try to start every new day with a smile. After all, he deserves it. Who knows, it might be the best day of your life (if you just give it a chance).

#4 | Rather be imperfect and authentic than boring. Perfection is unrealistic and often contains little substance. It is an act of inner strength to be vulnerable in front of everyone. To be bluntly yourself. So also to show the unattractive sides of oneself, to allow weaknesses and to reveal one's weak points. Personally, I am a very private person and yet I know that through my texts, which I write with heart and soul, I put something from my inside into the public. My texts are my gift to you. They let me find people who feel the way I do. And then I feel this longing again real Conversations / feelings / stories. Do you know that? I think one of the nicest compliments someone can give you is when they say you areauthentic are. Not pretending to be for others is risky - but also incredibly attractive. Because you mustn't forget one thing: No matter how adjusted or uncomplicated you are, there will always be people who don't like you and want to make life difficult for you (God knows what drives them to do so). But if you don't pretend for anyone in the first place, at least you're attracting the right people who like you for the right reasons. There is no point in being loved for what you are not. And regardless of that, it takes far too much strength to play this role and always keep up appearances. Therefore my request to you:Be soft in a rude world - Be vulnerable! Stand by your scars, rough edges. Better still: emphasize them! I know this is not for cowards! I know it takes courage to speak openly about your own weaknesses / quirks / construction sites / fears / .... But nothing is more disarming than such honesty and nothing is more attractive than self-confidently lived authenticity. By showing yourself vulnerable and learning to ask for help when you are stuck, you will surpass yourself.

#5 | Get out of your comfort zone! That's how it is everywhere. The truth is, you have your life that you know: your everyday life, your routine, your structures that you have built to organize your life. And you have a life that you did not know yet, that is playing out or playing out outside of this pinned areacouldif you allow it. A life outside of what you know / see / know. So my question to you: How about if you go a little over the top every now and then, or are a little wrong, or risk a little more than originally planned, or if you step a little out of line and demand a little more from life?

#6 | You don't always have to be the same Yes say when others ask you to do something. Tell me too No. And then stick with this oneNo. Not always the same Yes to say is to break free of the fear and school feelings that one No brings with it and banish disturbing people or things that take advantage of you from your life. A confident oneNo to others and a loving oneYes to yourself can be so liberating. This gives you more energy and time to do the things that give you pleasure, consciously yes! accept.

#7 | Topic: keep order. Another important point. Declare war on your procrastinating self! The more often you muck out in between, the less ballast you carry with you through life. That goes for physical and emotional filth. The rule here is: Everything that does not make you happy can go away.

#8 | In between, be satisfied with what you have. We all just want more, more, more. But where do you put all that stuff? Maybe we already have what we need ... to live, to be happy. Stop comparing yourself to others all the time. Especially in times of Instagram: All that glitters is not gold. Rather focus on your achievements / your strengths / your privileges and not on what you are Not has. Make gratitude your attitude!

#9 | Small steps in the right direction are better than big steps in the wrong direction. I have learned that with a good dose of patience, discipline and perseverance you can achieve every (!) Goal that you set yourself. No matter how frighteningly big your dreams are or how unreachable your visions may seem. Anything can be achieved with the right attitude! And when things get difficult, the following applies: Learn to rest, not to quit.

#10 | Time management. Your time is your most precious asset that you can give away but never get back. Even if you find that you have given too much of her to the wrong people, she is lost forever. Therefore, divide them up well. Not everyone deserves your time. Only take ‘them for the things that are important to you and that let you forget your worries. Free yourself from social obligations or the demands of others on you. It is yours Time and you alone determine what you fill it with. Incidentally, this also applies to psychological stress; E.g. for people / situations / feelings that burden you for a long time and through which you lose so many hours a day because you spend them with negative ruminations or agonizing self-doubts. That is - in the truest sense of the word - timewaste. Don't let that happen! Anyone who doesn't do you good doesn't deserve your time.

#11 | Stop comparing someone's goal to your beginning! You don't know how long it took them to get to where they are today. How hard it was to work towards that goal. What he / she invested or what he / she had to do without. Rather focus on yourself and your goal. Ok, you're still at the beginning, but the main thing is that you start at all. The first step is the hardest. As soon as you have set off on your journey, you will steadily develop yourself further in the direction of your dream. There is one thing you must never forget: aim your dream. Imagine your goal visually. How it will be, how it will feel. Orientate yourself solely to yourself and your way there, which no one has taken before because it your Is away.

#12 | People lie. You lie for a variety of reasons. And yes, everyone lies. Of course, some lie more than the other and the lies of some are much more devastating than those of the others. There is also not always the evil intention behind deceiving / deceiving others or making a fool of them. Sometimes we lie to protect someone ... from ourselves, from ourselves, from the truth, from the big bang or a big disappointment. Sometimes we lie so as not to hurt others, we leave something out or add something. We try to circumnavigate the truth in order to get through everyday life somewhat unscathed. Because it is often we who lie to ourselves.

#13 | Everywhere it says: "Live the moment! Be in the here & now! "Yes, of course, that's simply said. But then again and again I think of such a simple quote from Mother Theresa:“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin. "Let us begin - that's a clear message, I can do something with that. All I have left is today. Everything that happens today remains in today. Yesterday or tomorrow must not be more important than today. Think of each new day as a date with life.Because life gives you every fucking day new opportunities, shows you new paths or pushes you in the right direction. In order to recognize this and to be able to perceive these signals, you have tohere be. In today ... in the here & now. So what are you waiting for Fall in love with your life and find your personal version of happiness!

#14 | Growing up is great when you can finally drive, party, drink, have a say, vote and decide everything for yourself. At first you feel free and independent and finally taken seriously. But there is one thing you lose without it ever returning: the naive one Light heartedness of a child.

# 15 | Don't try to save others or change them. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness and although we want only the best for our loved ones, we cannot force them to do something they are not ready or open to. If we start to persuade them to do something they really don't want to do, we are wasting valuable strength and energy and endangering our relationship with them. The only thing you can do is listen and be there for others. They can only save themselves.

#16 | Dads sometimes cry too. We mustn't forget all the great fathers (besides all the great mothers) in this world. They also do their best.

#17 | Men are very capable of relationships. If he doesn't want to commit himself or blames the "generation incapable of relational" or gets lost in vague excuses or or or ... then he just isn't into you. If you want more / love more / demand more, I advise you one thing: Let it be. Get rid of the idea that you could still convince him of you. You do not need. The painful truth we all don't want to hear is that if you need good arguments to fall in love with you, you will never love you back enough. And if there is no serious interest, it won't come back just because you try harder. Rather invest your energy in people who recognize your worth immediately and will not let you go. These are the real ladies and boys of heart in this world.

#18 | Learn to like to be alone. Date yourself, go to the cinema, see an exhibition, go dancing, travel ... alone, just yourself. Sounds scary? Then do it all the more! Spend Zeit more time with yourself! People are constantly looking for the perfect partner to experience all the things they have planned for so long with ... and overlook someone who has always been there - themselves.

#19 | Treat yourself to moreHold-my-beer-moments! Take a break from it all! Be carefree, and wild, and wonderful! Make yourself the world widdewiddewidd you like them.Pipi Longstocking principle.That's what pee used to do and was pretty happy with it.

#20 | Trust your gut feeling and your inner voice, no matter how loudly your surroundings roar at you. Your intuition is your best and most reliable advisor in all situations. She knows what you need and what is good for you. After all, she has stored information for years and knows how to connect to your soul. Most of the time, she'll know long before you know when things will get dangerous or unhealthy. She knows who you areAnd the good thing about it: It's free and available 24/7.

#21 | All that glitters is not gold. If I have learned one thing, it is that others only pretend they have the perspective. In reality, they are insecure themselves, do not know how to behave or only pretend strength and invulnerability. Because a lot of what we see on the surface is overplayed, falsified or simply spurious. Do not be blinded by the "refurbished armor" of the others. You can also be insecure and quarrel with yourself. You can ask for advice and still make your own decision. The truth is: We all have no plan for life. So we have to work with what we have and try to make the most of it.

#22 | What I realize again and again: I have no time for things without substance. Or to put it in Charles Burkowski's words:"Understand me. I'm not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul. " He speaks to me from the heart. I want to see / hear / smell / taste / touch / feel ... I want to Life. So right. With all 5 senses and beyond. Our problem is, we live as if we had new lives hidden in the trunk. But we only have this one.

#23 | Never fall asleep in an argument - so simple, but at the same time so meaningful. I consider this to be one of the most important conditions for lifelong love. Get the things that stand between you out of the way before you fall asleep. Because on such sleepless nights after an unresolved argument, many relationships have already broken up.

#24 | We think, talk and ask too much ... and dance far too little. So swing yourself up, put on your favorite outfit and treat yourself to more I feel-me-comfortable-in-my-skin-days. Make sure that you feel alive and noticed and that your soul is fine. Then you will shine! Even in stressful everyday life, you have to take care of yourself and allow yourself a break. It is now your own responsibility to bring your soul life into balance. You are the only one who can repair yourself. From the inside out.

#25 | No matter how good you can be, no matter how friendly / considerate / honorable / loyal ... There will always be someone who wants to deny you that or doesn't appreciate it. People who want to keep you down don't belong in your life.Draw a circle around you and leave them out. What / who does not do you good can go away.

#26 | Don't waste time admiring others for their perfectly staged life on Instagram. We all know that a lot of it is lavishly staged and financed with outside help. Instead of envying others for what you Not you better have a look around what you have. And then write down those little things in life that make you smile and enjoy them as often as you want.

#27 | True love doesn't hurt. What I mean by that is that a relationship shouldn't be a struggle. It should feel light-footed, give you strength to get through difficult times and make the beautiful moments unforgettable. This also includes that you don't ask your partner to heal your old wounds or to keep you from all the bad in this world. Because he cannot save you if you lose sight of yourself ... you can only save yourself. Only if you make sure that you are happy and that you sincerely love yourself can he also do it. You have to take care of yourself first, make yourself happy, and keep working on yourself. Then you have a chance for a lifelong love.

#28 | Make a decision and then go for it! Do not let others confuse you and do not depend on their opinions. After all, you have to live with the consequences. Be your own guru. It's your decision, your body, your conscience, yoursWhat ever. It is all aloneyour Life.

#29 | Find something that your heart beats for. Something you are passionate about and good at. And then go for it! Finish things off. No matter how “rough the road” may be. Become an expert in a field and put all your energy into your project. Hustle hard, girl... And then watch it bloom before your eyes.